The Breaking Point
What sets you off? I mean, what really sends you to that breaking point of losing your head? I pride myself in the fact that I’ve worked very hard on controlling my temper. I’ve always had one and my fuse is very short. Twenty years ago, it didn’t take much at all to light that fuse, then BOOM! I’d go off like a rocket. Benjamin Franklin once said, “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” I am very ashamed of how I once acted so very easily. And why does it always seem we do this to the people we love the most?
Quick To Listen, Slow To Speak
Today, I am a better person. I can tolerate a lot. I may not like something, but my thoughts are contained inside my pea-sized brain for the most part, unless my opinion is necessary. But not always. Sometimes, I just lose control. I suppose we all do, but it irritates me when I do this. James 1:19-20 comes to my mind every time I lose my temper. It says “… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” That’s a punch in my gut every time. How I let Satan take control of my emotions in certain situations is shameful.
Earlier this week I lost it. In a conversation, some things were said that just struck a nerve. Instead of thinking first, I began to see RED and blurted out some very hurtful words. The very thing that I try so hard not to do anymore. That certainly was not the “righteousness that God desires” and I feel terrible about it. So, this blog is written to help me get my thoughts out before I call to apologize. Ephesians 4 says “do not let the sun go down on your anger”. I’ve already done that, but I have to do the best I can to ease the hurt I caused. So, I’ll sit here a while longer taking in the sweet and calming scent of lavender from my difuser and praying that God will once again forgive me for my actions. I know He will, and hope my son will also.