Victim or Victor?


While having lunch with my dear friend Jennifer last week I was talking about the situation in our family. I don’t share our drama with most people, but Jennifer is a sister in Christ and she has been through very similar circumstances in her own life. I know she’s been praying for us since the beginning of this storm, so I update her when I can. After we had been in the little small town restaurant for almost her entire lunch break, I realized I had not allowed her to talk at all. I just needed to vent about my frustrations. But as we were about to end our lunch date she said something very simple, yet very powerful to me. She said, “In situations like this we must decide…Am I a victim or a victor?” That one statement has had me thinking a lot over the past week, in every situation I face, and in this traumatic event my daughter is encountering. It’s promted me to think about not only how bad this all is, but how much worse it could be. So, am I a victor or a victim?

A Rude Customer

As I’m standing in line in the grocery store, a scraggly looking young lady dressed in her pajamas and smelling like she hasn’t had a bath in many days, possibly weeks, decides to cut line. At first, it irritates me, but I ask myself. Am I a victim or a victor?
I don’t know her life. Maybe there’s a reason she’s in such a hurry. Maybe it’s not just because she’s rude and entitled. Maybe she’s doing the best she can given her circumstances. Maybe I should offer to help. I’m not in a hurry, well not too much of one anyway. I’m trying to practice patience, and for the most part my life is good. I have nice clothes to wear, even to the grocery store, and I get a nice, warm shower every morning. I am a victor.

A Gossiping Neighbor

I often feel as if I’m left out or being talked about by others. I’m very insecure because of many different reasons. I’m fat, I live in a mobile home, I drive an old car, I’m not good at much of anything, I don’t have good advice for anyone, and the list goes on and on. Am I a victim or a victor?
This is a hard one for me. I do have a lot of insecurities about myself. Then I remind myself that I am a child of God. He created me exactly how He wants me. He is the answer to all my insecurities. And who cares if someone is talking about me. Their opinion of me is really none of my business. I am a victor.

A Financial Strain

It’s THAT week again, the one where money is tight, and I stress about making it until the next payday. All the big bills had to come out and even though I go through this stress montly, I wonder if I can afford to write that tithing check. Am I a victim or a victor?
Hasn’t God always provided for me and given me much more than I deserve? I’m not hungry, I have a comfortable bed and a roof over my head, and isn’t there always a little money left at the end of the week? Why do I worry? Giving Him one tenth of my income is only a fraction of what He has given me. I am a victor.

A Heartbreaking Event

As I watch my daughter struggle with life. Three kids, a husband who has left them for another woman, a job that she loves but it doesn’t cover even minmum expenses, and many other things that I don’t even know about. I cry out to God and wonder why she has to go through this. Am I a victim or a victor?
Didn’t I have similar struggles in my own early life as I tried to navigate through marriage, kids, jobs, and eventually divorce? I did, and I learned so much from it. Why is it so hard for me to allow her to learn from this experience? Am I a victim or a victor?
Of course, I do not want to see her hurt so much. As I step back a look at the big picture though, God has done so much good already through these hard times. He’s unfolding a plan that no one can understand except Him, at least not for now. My sweet daughter has grown so close to Him and his direction for her life. Oh, she by no means has it all figured out, but she’s learned where the best source for strentgh and guidance comes from. Our Heavenly Father is sovereign over all things and He’s got her. Knowing this comforts me. I am a victor.

So….what am I?

These are only a few things that happened during this past week, but I know there are many more instances where I can ask myself that question. Am I a victim or victor? It’s good to stop and think about it and it’s made me more grateful for the blessings and provisions that God makes for me. He is faithful! And I am a VICTOR!!

Be blessed,


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